Lessons in Fatherhood

Sometimes, I’m caught off guard by Justin’s openness to Migc and Kristen. I know, there are men that do it all the time, and women too, but he is exceptional to me. The depth of his love for them brings me to a stand-still sometimes.

Last night, in the ER, I had one of those moments. I handed over our medical insurance card and the woman asked if Justin was dad to Migc. I said, “yes, well stepdad.” She said, “He’s dad to me.” He is. Their father carries insurance on them, but he has always played games with it and I’ve never used it. Since it was court-ordered, I’ve never used it. In fact, I don’t even have an insurance card because he doesn’t provide one, though I know he carries insurance because the order was sent to his employer. Justin not only carries them on his insurance, he pays 100% of all medical bills not paid by insurance. Again, their dad is supposed to pay 50%, but he doesn’t. He refuses to. Since we’ve lived here, he’s never paid one. Justin doesn’t do it because he has to. He doesn’t do it because it’s court ordered or because I ask him to or for any reason other than because they are his children and that’s what you do for your children. He has never thought twice about whether difference in blood should determine what he does or doesn’t do.

I’ve talked also about him being put on 2nd shift at work. Immediately, when that happened he began seeking a new job. On 2nd shift, he still gets to see Jaden and I during the day. He will get to see Kara too. With the shift change, he gets one hour in the morning with Migc and Kristen and maybe weekends, if he’s not required to work. He cannot handle that. He can’t even handle the thought of it. He has to see them. It kills him that he can’t. He’s willing to change jobs and relocate his family for the major purpose of being able to spend the time he wants to spend with Migc and Kristen. Their father works average jobs in Chicago. He could work the exact same jobs here in Wichita. He has no family, no ties to Chicago whatsoever, yet is unwilling to relocate just himself in order to see them. Blood doesn’t mean a thing!

Then two nights ago, we were talking about this delivery and if the placenta is still too low-lying to have a vaginal birth. I told Justin that we would have an unassisted homebirth, where I would hemorrhage and die before I would have a c-section. I was kidding and he knew it, but still, he looked at me and said, “No you won’t because remember, if you die, I don’t just lose you. I lose Migc and Kristen too, and I can’t do that.” As strange as it may seem, that thought plagues Justin and I. It’s true. They would go to the dad that doesn’t care for them and love them the way Justin does, and he would never allow Justin to be a part of their life. That thought is an ever-present fear of Justin’s.

He had a good example in his own dad, but that doesn’t keep me from being stopped in my tracks sometimes and amazed that a man can be so capable of loving children not his own. There is no depth he wouldn’t go for them and no mountain he wouldn’t climb. That’s what being a dad is!

What a Day!

My body still hurts.

Yesterday, I volunteered at the kids’ school for picture day. This is the second time I’ve done it this year. The first one was hard work, but yesterday was even harder. Thirty weeks pregnant, walking with a purpose to a class, getting them lined up in height order, leading them down the hall, organizing their paperwork, dividing them into their given line, then heading to get the next class was much more tiring than it sounds like here. I did that for 24 classes and it took more than 5 hours. I had a ten minute break and never got a chance to eat.

I picked Jaden up from the neighbor, came home, sat on the couch and fell asleep for a few minutes until Jaden came to show me that he had written with a pen all over his hand. I could barely move my body hurt so bad. I don’t know how some women work on their on feet throughout their entire pregnancy.

Justin called with some awesome, life-changing news…that I’m not releasing yet. :)

I walked to pick up the kids from school, walked a neighbor girl home and sat outside to watch Jaden and a bunch of neighborhood kids play. That boy loves the mud!!! I sat at the neighbors how and chatted for a little bit until about 5:45pm when I decided to get the kids home to feed them. I walked outside and could hear Migc crying very loudly. I found him in a driveway across the street with a bloodied knee and lots of pain. I got him home, cleaned up and online with his dad at 6 (I forgot it was that day!). I gave him an ice pack and told him we’d see how it was when he got offline.

The kids all wanted to eat MREs. I know, it’s weird, but they like them. Justin brings them home sometimes and the kids like to pick their own meal and see what all other things are in the packages. I started getting all of that put together and hurting all the way. Jaden was into one thing after another and Justin was on his way home.

After Migc and Kristen got offline, I got them hooked up on their food, tried to defuse Jaden, started calling the doctor, then there were all of these really little things that just could not stay like they were, like peanuts that Jaden had thrown all over the living room and dining room that could not stay there, but my body hurt and there were 10 other similar things that needed done. I sucked it, and started on all of those little things.

Jaden normally bathes at 7. It was well after that before I got him in the bath. In the meantime, I’m paging the doctor every 15 minutes about Migc’s knee with no response. Justin gets home right as I’m getting Jaden out of the bath. I’ve managed to get a lot of things picked up but not everything. We were waaaaaay behind in the things that needed done. I was helping Kristen get her hair tied up so that it wouldn’t get wet while in the shower, while Jaden kept trying to grab a sleeve of crackers and fling it all over my room. Justin was trying to talk to me. I was keeping an ear open for the phone. Jaden did it once, I told him to wait. About 45 seconds later, he did again. I raised my voice at him. Justin got upset that I was raising my voice and took him from me and raised his voice at me and took off. I sat down and cried so hard for a good 15 minutes. I just couldn’t stop the tears.

Then I got up, still crying, and went back to work on all of the things that need done and continued to call the doctor. Justin played Wii with Jaden, then took him to read books before bed. I finally talked to the doctor and decided to take Migc in to the ER. Jaden went to bed and we left about 9pm. Two and a half hours later, he has a bruised knee and is fine.

I’m happy to have that day behind me. My body feels better but is still sore. Migc is still in bed. I need to finish this and go change the baby’s diaper.

Highlight of the story, very good, life-changing stuff is happening soon and my husband is really amazing for the sacrifices he makes, especially for children that are not even his own blood. He’s an amazing dad!!!!

30 Weeks

I cannot believe we only have 10 weeks left until my due date. Really, that means I have to be ready, completely ready, in 9 weeks since two out of three babies have been early.

I had a doctor’s appointment today. It was as silly. I really didn’t feel the need to go today. Yes, I’ve gained weight. I do that. My urine has never, ever, in 4 pregnancies come back abnormal. My fundal height was 33. Now that was a WOW. Two weeks ago, at 28 weeks, I measured 28. Now, two weeks later, I measured 33. It’s all position and a little growth probably. I can feel the baby moving, so I know she has a heartbeat. I have no questions or concerns. My blood pressure has always been amazing. I’ve never had even swelling. Never, not in 4 pregnancies. My appointments last 15 minutes and only that because he tries to stretch it out by chatting.

I did have blood work done last visit. Antibodies are negative – YAY! I’m slightly anemic again. It’s borderline though and he said if I have iron around the house, take it, otherwise, whatever.

He circled my next appointment for 2 weeks and I said, “um, how strict are you with that?” He said, “I’m not. You want to wait. Alright, we’ll see you in 4 weeks.” So, I go back in 4 weeks, have the ultrasound then too, then I’ll see him again 3 weeks after that.

Have I told you how much I love my doctor!!! He’s so awesome!

Big Photo Dump

I’ve been negligent about posting any photos at all for a while and I know it keeps a blog interesting. I mean, who really wants to just read whatever dumb stuff I have to say. So, here we go, you get a *very* heavy photo update.

First, Kristen got to perform (dance) at the last ever Thunder Hockey game at the Kansas Coliseum. She had a blast and was such a natural! Here she is before we left the house and after she got all make-uped out.

Here she is in the spotlight. Do you see her, front and center. Yep, that’s my girl!

Justin and Jaden waiting on the game to start.

And here we have Kristen and Jaden do a little chill time together.

 

And we took the kids sledding last weekend. We took along a couple of their friends too. One of which had never been sledding before. Actually, we tubed because Wal-Mart was out of sleds and ours broke last year. Tubing is waaaaaay more fun than sledding. I only did it a few times because it was so fast and crazy, I was afraid I would flip it and hurt the baby. I can’t wait to do it next year though!

Jaden even went down all by himself. He loved it!

And we hit 28 weeks of pregnancy this week. Baby Kara is measuring right at 28 weeks and all is well. I have no real complaints. It’s been an easy pregnancy and I can’t believe that we have less than 12 weeks to go!

In this picture, Jaden was standing on a stool with me and was right below my belly and couldn’t see my face, so he was yelling “MAMA MAMA”.

And why does a girl pregnancy have to make your belly look so weird??? My belly was so cute with Jaden. This one is complete with love handles and hips. Why is that?

And here is the baby blanket that we picked up at the thrift store for Kara. I adore this blanket! It’s in perfect shape too!

Justin’s old man coat that fits his personality and style so well. He loves this coat! Oh there is a shot of my shocks in there too. This was all our thrift stores finds on Justin’s birthday (that I talk about a few posts down).

And his Frankoma cup

And a last one of Jaden showing off his smile. Sorry, Migc, you didn’t get an picture love on this download. Where were you???

One of Those Things that Irks Me

I have a friend that mentioned on facebook that she had heartburn. She’s pregnant. I suggested warm milk and honey, which she doesn’t like, but another woman told her that she can’t have honey when she’s pregnant and recommended Sudafed instead.

Some women are dumb, I tell you.

I know, I know that’s judgmental and stuff, but stupidity about pregnancy and relaying bad, really just poor information, is a personal pet peeve of mine. Just sayin’.

Adjusting

Justin has worked this amazing schedule of being off work between 12:30 and 1:30 for over two years now. I’ve gotten so used to having him around. When they switched him to 2nd shift, I initially thought I might enjoy the extra time to get things done. I was wrong. I got less done. However, I did still get to see him for several hours in the morning.

Now he is on military orders, which he loves, but it’s a normal person’s work schedule and I’m jonesing for Justin time!!! I’m used to having a couple of hours every day without having to share him with the entire family.

Yesterday, I was in this weird kind of funk and I felt like it was because I was missing him, but it wasn’t until this morning when every time I’ve thought about him, I’ve choked back tears. Yes, I’m a crier. I’m emotional. I’m pregnant. I miss him though!

What in the world will I ever do if he gets deployed? We have friends that are just over their first month of deployment now and I’ve been seeing their interactions on facebook and it kills me. Seriously rips my heart out! I always thought I’d do ok. It would be hard, but I would do ok. Right now, I’m thinking I might die inside if we ever have to go through that!

Anyway, change is hard sometimes, even if it’s good change or not major change. I’m having to adjust myself to less Justin and it is hard!

Playground Talk

There is a playground between our house and our new church that has me completely perplexed. This playground is an average looking new playground. It’s nothing special, but it is new. It is located in the middle of a big lot of land on a very busy street. It’s a main travel street and not one that you can park on. Previously, there has been no parking at this park.

I’ve been baffled by it for a while. Justin wants to visit it. I think he wants to just because I’m baffled by it. It’s in the middle of an unlikely place with no way to really access it.

Well, we noticed Sunday morning that they are putting in a parking lot. This morning on my way to Bible Study, I notice about 4 to 5 construction trucks there and at least a dozen workers putting in the parking lot. I’m completely curious as to how much money this strange park is costing. Maybe I will be wrong, but I just don’t see the park getting a whole lot of use. There is no shade anywhere near it and is just an average park. I know that I won’t be running to visit it when the parking lot is done, but at least, there is parking now, but at who’s expense.

I’m just confused.

A Weekend of Bliss

Just over a week ago, Justin celebrated his 29th birthday. Just under a week ago, we celebrated our 3rd anniversary.

Justin’s dad and stepmom took all 3 kids Friday night and my mom and dad took all 3 kids Saturday night. I had never spent a night away from Jaden and Jaden had never spent a night away from home without us there. Justin was a little apprehensive, just worried about how Jaden would do. I told him that he would get over it and that we were going to enjoy ourselves. And we did!

Friday night went down like a normal Friday night. We watched some tv, played Super Mario Bros. and nothing else exciting. Well, we did go somewhere, I can’t remember where now, but I made him get me Sonic while we were out. Wahoo can we party while the kids are away! :)

He had no idea what was in store for the weekend and I pretended like it was nothing much. Saturday morning, we woke up. I told him to get dressed and get his shoes on. He asked if we could have coffee first. I said no. I drove (which he hated because he thought if I gave him directions he could figure it out) us to Douglas Ave and we visited this donut/coffee shop that he has wanted to go to for a long time, but just never had the opportunity. The Donut Whole was right up our alley. There were several things that we wanted to take home because it fit right in with our house, and the donuts were AMAZING!!! They have so many different kinds. Wow! They even do live music throughout the week. The coffee was great too! Ashley needs to sell cozies there!

After that we went home, showered and got ready for our day. We headed out to hit every single thrift store that Justin’s big heart desired. Trust me when I say that it isn’t just one or two. This man can thrift store shop all day long. We got some great things too! Let’s see, Justin got this old man’s coat that he adores, I got a pair of Nike shocks, Kara got the most amazing baby blanket EVER and Justin also got a cool Frankoma coffee cup – that ironically looks nothing like the ones shown on this website. That took the majority of the day and was heaven for Justin!

When we got home, I sent Justin downstairs to play on the Wii while I shopped for a few things and packed us an overnight bag. He had no clue what was going on. Again, I loaded him in the SUV and took him for a ride. The whole way, he kept trying to guess as to where we were going and what we were doing. Even when we pulled up to the Broadview Hotel, he thought we were eating there. I went in to ask for parking directions. I came out with key to the room that I’d already reserved. He was FLOORED! He was even more shocked when I pulled a small suitcase out of the back of the SUV and told him that I’d arranged for our dog to be cared for too.

This hotel was perfect for Justin! He has mentioned several times that he’d like to stay there. This hotel is built in 1922 and has lots of history. Just walking through the hallways, there are pictures of Wichita in the 1920s. Justin is a history buff and loves that kind of stuff. I got a big room on the top floor facing the city. He enjoyed spending much of his evening and the next morning staring out the window just looking at the city. He *loved* it and I loved how much he enjoyed it.

We ate dinner at the Whiskey Creek Steakhouse. The service and the food and not dealing with the baby was awesome!

We returned to our room and had a nice quiet evening in an amazing hotel room completely alone. It was the most amazing, refreshing weekend ever! We both thoroughly enjoyed every single minute of it! It was the first time, ever, that we’ve had a weekend just to ourselves (without work and unbelievable stress) and it was heavenly and I’m looking forward to many, many more! And, the kids were awesome for their grandparents – all 3 of them! Yeah!