Oh Baby Girl

I’m supposed to be picking up a few things and finishing packing the last few things and showering, so that I can be ready to the hospital, but all I can think about it that I get to meet you very soon.

You are your own child. You’re always going to be my independent one, I suppose you get that from me. First doctor’s appointment, you wouldn’t give us a heartbeat, so we had to rush in for a sonogram. You were perfect. Twenty week sonogram, you wouldn’t show us if you were a boy or a girl, we had to schedule another one. You are a girl. We so desperately wanted an Earth Day baby, so we wake up the morning after with the main positive labor sign that we have been lacking all along.

You are my child!

I cannot wait to meet you face-to-face. I love you, Kara Lillian!

Are We There Yet?

39 weeks today.

I dreamed last night that we went to hospital because something felt weird to me and not because I was in active labor. They kept us and we (just Justin and I) were in the room sleeping. It was night time. I woke up and was wearing shorts, but I felt something odd. I took my shorts off and could feel a bulge, then without a contraction or anything, I pushed her out. Justin was still asleep. She came so quickly that I couldn’t catch her and she fell on the floor. I picked her up, the sac was still completely intact around her and I cut it open around her mouth. I remember how beautiful she was.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a dream about a hard, painful or complicated birth. I’ve had quite a few birth dreams over the years and they are always easy. This one took the cake for easy though!

We figure that if I go into labor anytime today, we will do our best to keep it at bay until midnight, just so we can have an Earth Day baby. I am crazy, aren’t I? Do you know how awesome it would be to have an Earth Day baby though. It would definitely be one of the most awesome things in my life.

Everything is ready to go though. I suppose it has been for a while. I’ve just been impatiently waiting. I have ONE babyleg done. If I get a chance at naptime today, I’m going to start the other one and hopefully, I’ll be more diligent about it and get it done quickly.

Daddy is beyond ready too! I hear about it 15 times a day. He’s always telling her that it’s time. We aren’t the most patient people in the world.

Nothing Exciting

Nothing new to report. Twelve days until my due date. We're all excited and ready to meet this little girl! Pretty much everything is in place. Things are coordinated as best they can be. I still have a few things here and there to do, but nothing serious, so if it doesn't get done, it's ok.

We have a house that we're interested in. Hopefully, we learn something today to help us decide if we really like it. :)

Oh, I've decided on Kara's life theme song. American Honey by Lady Antebellum. I want her to be there carefree, country girl that is raised in the simple life, knowing what true love is. I heard the song the other day and thought "that's it". No, I don't have theme songs for all of my kids.

Well, I suppose I should go do a few things...laundry, shower, some paperwork, have some coffee, nothing extreme. I'm in a really good, refreshed mood today. I had great sleep and feel on top of the world!

In The Beginning

Tomorrow is the 4th anniversary of our first date.

Just in case I go into labor before I can get this written up tomorrow, I’m doing it tonight.

On December 20, Justin’s picture appeared on the front page of our hometown newspaper. Because he didn’t want to be interviewed, his dad drove him to the newspaper office without him knowing where they were going. I was in Chicago and got the newspaper into my email. I saw the picture, read the article and knew I had to know him.

One month later, on January 20, we spoke on the phone for the first time. From there, we spoke occasionally.

On April 14, 2006, we met at Towne West Mall in front of Dick’s Sporting Goods for the first time. I got there early and did a little shopping. He got there late, stinking. lol He had to work that day and worked disaster restoration at the time and wasn’t able to get off in time to go home and shower or change his clothes. I was so nervous! He walked out of Dick’s into the mall where I was waiting and hugged me.

From there, we had dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings, then walked along the river talking and finishing our first date in the Old Town square where we sat and talked and talked and talked. He made me feel so comfortable! There was nothing difficult about that first date. I’d venture to say that we both knew we would go somewhere long-term that first night.

My mom took this picture a few days later. I think it was the day that I left to go back to Chicago.

Sara Groves, a Christian folk-style singer and songwriter, has always had a way of speaking directly to my heart. On my way back to Chicago after meeting Justin, I heard the song Every Minute on her newest CD at that time. It was the perfect song and described exactly how he made me feel!

Every Minute

By Sara Groves

I am long on staying • I am slow to leave • Especially when it comes to you my friend • You have taught me slow down • And to prop up my feet • It's the fine art of being who I am • • And I can't figure out • Why you want me around • I'm not the smartest person I have ever met • But somehow that doesn't matter • No it never really mattered to you at all • • And at the risk of wearing out my welcome • At the risk of self-discovery • I'll take every moment • And every minute that you'll give me • • And I can think of time when families all lived together • Four generations in one house • And the table was full of good food • And friends and neighbors • That's not how we like it now • • Cause if you sit at home you're a loser • Couldn't you find anything better to do • Well no I couldn't think of one thing • I would rather waste my time on than sitting here with you • • And at the risk of wearing out my welcome • At the risk of self-discovery • I'll take every moment • And every minute that you'll give me • • And I wish all the people I love the most • Could gather in one place • And know each other and love each other well • • And I wish we could all go camping • And lay beneath the stars • And have nothing to do and stories to tell • We'd sit around the campfire • And we'd make each other laugh remembering when • You're the first one I'm inviting • Always know that you're my friend • • And at the risk of wearing out my welcome • At the risk of self-discovery • I'll take every moment • And every minute that you'll give me • Every moment and every minute that you'll give me • Every moment and every minute that you'll give me • Every minute • •

Now, I think it was be fabulous to have a baby on that anniversary! :)

Pregnant Forever

This time last week, she felt so low and I felt so ready. I wasn’t sure I would make it through the week.

Right now, and really for the past several days, I feel like I’m about 32 weeks pregnant and could just keep going. It doesn’t feel near at all.

We are jokingly (kind of) shooting for Wednesday the 14th or Thursday the 22nd. The 14th is the anniversary of our first date and the 22nd is Earth Day. Either one would be cool. Of course, it has to be an even day. I’m weird about that. I like even birthdays. I think because mine is even. Migc’s is 100% even. Kristen’s is completely odd. Jaden’s is odd except for the year. Kara has the month and year even, so she needs to finish it out with an even numbered day too. I know, I’m weird.

We have decided to go back to the hospital that we had Jaden at instead of the birth center. I toured the birth center last week and really it looked like the birth room at the other place, just a little bigger, and it’s where you stay post partum too. We really liked the post partum rooms at the other place. They had queen-sized beds and entertainment center and there was no hospital looking stuff in there. Even the baby bed thing was off in the corner. At the birth center, Kara and I would be sleeping in the same bed that I delivered in and Justin would be sleeping on a couch. The attached “family room” was a tiny waiting room separated by a curtain. All of the hospital monitors and baby warmer and everything is still right there. That is not homey at all!

As for the actual birth, the last place was awesome and gave me no issues at all. I loved my nurse and am praying she’s there again! She had never seen a birth like mine but was 100% supportive.

As for what happens when labor starts, we have a couple of plans.

One is this: Early labor starts. Justin and Mandy gather things and children and drive to Wichita. We rent a room (or 2) at the a hotel. Mandy's mom will be there right away to help tend to Migc, Kristen and Jaden. Justin and Mandy will enjoy an easy, comfortable, nice time of early labor. Everyone is invited to come to the hotel at any time during this time. We hope to have some finger foods and hang out and maybe do a little swimming at the pool. When labor heats up, Justin, Mandy, Madison and Kristen will head to the hospital while the others continue to hang out at the hotel. Upon Kara's arrival, a call will be made to the hotel room and the rest of the family will come to join us in welcoming her. Mandy's mom will return to the hotel with Migc, Kristen and Jaden until we are released from the hospital.

The other is a little more interesting. My 4th grade teacher and friend emailed me a while back and asked if I’d thought about delivering here if there isn’t time to get to Wichita. At the time, I thought, eh, it’ll be fine because all 3 labors have been nearly identical and resemble the above a lot. She pointed out “what if my water broke”. Again, I thought, “no biggie”. Then I really thought about it and it started freaking me out! My first labor, my water broke and active labor started. He was born 2 1/2 hours later. For a first time natural labor, that is extremely quick. With my second, it broke while I was pushing and she was born with the next contraction. With the third, there was a sudden and uncontrollable urge to push and water and baby came together. it made me think that I certainly would not make it to gather the children and get to Wichita if my water were to spontaneously break. I probably would not even make it to the hospital here. So, I have shoe strings, scissors, towels and a bulb syringe. I will deliver here by myself (sounds crazy but I can do it! I know I can.) and will call paramedics immediately.

Honestly, neither scenario scares. I’d be perfectly fine if scenario 2 happened. It might actually be nicer than driving to Wichita. :)

Now, if I deliver in the car that will just suck! I’m not looking forward to that at all! Praying that scenario doesn’t happen!

OK, off to clean the boys’ room. I’m stalling.

Counting

Awwwww! I work with Jaden all the time on various things. He’s known ALL, and I mean all, of his animals sounds for a long time. He knows every body part on his little body. He knows a few colors. He knows the motions to Itsy Bitsy Spider, If You’re Happy and You Know It, and some of them to Wheels on the Bus.

I have been trying to get him to count “1, 2, 3” forever! I work with him almost daily. He just won’t do it. He will copy me, but will not do it himself at all.

Right now, he is sitting in his Spider Man chair watching Tom & Jerry (which he loves) with a book he’s flipping through. I just heard him, looking at the book, saying, “1 2 3”.

I’m so proud of him! I wonder if he does the ABCs while he’s in bed and I’m not around. He was the kid that would only roll over in his crib without anyone present for the longest time! He’s getting so big!

I have the car seat installed for Kara now and he is always pointing at it saying, “Baby. Baby.” Oh how is world is about to change! I’m going to miss being home with just him during the day. It’s always kind of scary adding another to mix. It feels like you’re taking away from the ones already here. I’m going to miss snuggling with just my lil man. *sigh*

Gun Play

It’s interesting how when Migc was Jaden’s age, he wasn’t allowed to be anywhere near play guns. He didn’t have them as toys and wasn’t allowed to pretend them. My motto was “Guns hurt nice people.” In Chicago, in our lifestyle at the time, that was all he needed to know. Guns were spoken of in context of kids on the street getting shot.

Now, we’re in Kansas, where hunting is everywhere. Plus, I’m married to a military man that almost specializes in firing weapons. In fact, rarely in our house are they called guns, they are normally called weapons and in our house, the context that guns are used in is usually war.

Migc has a handful of nerf, cap and bb guns now but certainly never had them at Jaden’s age. Jaden walks around the house almost daily with one of the Migc’s gun saying, “p-que p-que”. The real kicker though is that I think it’s kinda cute.

Few Random Thoughts

I’ve discovered that rental duplex or not, I really like this place. No, I don’t want to live here forever, but for now, it’s simple. It’s easy, and I like it. We are all always on the same floor and share more family time. The kids play outside more and watch less tv. It’s easy to get the entire house picked up and kept clean daily. I’m enjoying the simple life. And,it’s very sunny. I’m going to enjoy that after Kara is born!

I’m feeling good today. It’s kind of been a rough week for me. I’ve felt very incredibly pregnant and moving seems to be a chore, but today, I don’t know, it’s not so bad. I got great sleep last night. The weather is a tad bit cooler today, which I think is helping. Yesterday felt miserably hot, but not hot enough to turn on the AC, so after house shopping, I was swollen and tired. Today is good day though.

36 weeks and counting! I’ve been putting together her clothes and blankets and getting stuff prepared. OK OK I’m digging the pink stuff. :) As long as there is no lace and it’s not frilly, I’m awwww-ing all over the place.

I think this will be our last. I’m really feeling like it’s time to focus on the ones we have. As much as I’ve enjoyed this pregnancy, I’m thinking I don’t really want to do this again. It really separates my time from those already here. I don’t feel on top of my mommy game, especially right now. I think I’m done dividing that time. I’m pretty sure 4 is enough for us.