Friday, July 23, 2010

Road to Recovery

Well, I did it. I took the leap. I went to the doctor and got put on a very low dose anti-depressant. I honestly cannot wait to not feel like crazy lady anymore. I’m ready to have me back!

Justin is worried. He feels like me being on an anti-depressant means that he isn’t good enough. That is so far from the truth. How must I feel? I refuse to feel that way though. Yeah, this proves that I’m not good enough, not strong enough, not stable enough, not a whole lot of enoughs, but I’m not going to make my family suffer because I’m not enough. I’m going to do what it takes to do right by them.

It feels like a new day. Today, I’m going to stop beating myself up, and I’m going to get right!

5 comments:

Rebecca said...

I know we weren't close in HS, but I'd love to give you a big hug right now. You are doing the best you can for yourself and your family. I know the feeling of not being enough. Hang in there. I'll be praying. 

Rebecca (Moore) Lick

Mandy said...

Thank you, Rebecca! I had no idea that you read my blog. How did you find it?

Rebecca said...

I found Kim's blog through Facebook and that led me to yours. I've loved all the pics of your kids!

The Muser (aka Beautiful Mama) said...

So glad you're reaching out. What a good mama you are--seeing when you need help and reaching out and getting healthy. Prayers and love to you!

CARRIE said...

It took me having a nervous breakdown after the birth of my first child to understand that seeking help, of taking the physical steps to help yourself feel better, is NEVER, EVER a sign of weakness, of not being enough.

It is a sign of bravery, of strength.

It took me a long, long time to not hate being on an antidepressant, and I have finally accepted that this is ok. Taking my pill every day means my brain chemistry is flawed since having my kids. And that is all it means. Something I had no control over. Something you have no control over.

You are doing right by yourself, for yourself, for your family. And that is enough.