Thursday, July 1, 2010


Being a mom can be a thankless job and sometimes that is darn right depressing. There are times when I really need a pat on the back or a “you are amazing”. Justin even says that I fish for compliments. I do. I need it. I suppose it’s one of my love languages – words of affirmation.

There are times when I really need those compliments.

Then there are times when I do certain things and I just think, “man, I know I’m pretty darn good.” As a mother, you have those moments when you know you rock. We all do. As lame as my accomplishments may seem, they make me feel great!

I had one of those moments the other night. Justin went to hang out with the guys from work. Kristen had a softball game. I took Kristen (8), Migc (9), Jaden (2) and Kara (2 months) to the game. Kristen was playing and Migc does a pretty good job of helping me keep up with Jaden and as long as I’m holding Kara the right way, she’s golden. No biggie, right? Well, Jaden is newly potty trained, so when he told me that he needed to go pee, we took off for the bathroom. Getting him there really wasn’t a big deal – he needed to go. Getting him on the potty was another story all together. He couldn’t sit on it because he couldn’t get positioned right to direct his aim into the toilet because it was one of those where the seat splits in the front (don’t they think of little boys when they make those things??). He wanted to sit on it backwards like Daddy does for him, but I couldn’t hold Kara and get him undressed and able to do that at the same time. He couldn’t stand up because the toilet was too tall. So, I picked him up with my right arm wrapped around his stomach while I held Kara in my left arm. I balanced him over the toilet directing his aim into the toilet and it worked!

We made our back to the game and about 20 minutes later, he had to go again. Same scenario all over again.

On our way back to the game, I’m smiling at myself and feeling very proud of my achievement. I didn’t need a pat on the back. Hovering your child over the toilet while holding a baby and getting the aim into the toilet is an accomplishment that demands no compliment in my mind!


Kim said...

lol! Uh...taking four kids out in public is an accomplishment if you ask me!!! You don't have the choice because you HAVE to go to the big kids' functions, but I did NOT leave the house alone for about 3 years. :-) pat. pat. pat.

Mandy said...

Seriously, I take all 4 of them grocery shopping. It's insane, but I do it because it has to be done. I took all 4 paint shopping the other day too. I hate taking all of them anywhere by myself, but unfortunately, my life doesn't always allow that! :)

Sometimes I get mad because I can't even run to the store & leave all 4 of them home with Justin, but I have to take them places all by myself...then I remember that I'm the mom & these interesting moments give me so much more self-esteem than I get when I'm losing my mind and NEED him. lol

Kim said...

It is mentally hard forever, but when they are little...the physical and mental strain is REALLY unbearable at times.

I certainly understand finding confidence in making it thru those "handling it on your own" times.

But, I do try and AVOID those times like the plague. :-)

I think, for ME, resentment would be unavoidable if CJ did not watch the kids on a regular basis. Thankfully, he knows I am a MUCH better wife with that break.

Mandy said...

Once they are past nursing, Justin keeps them regularly. Even now, he will take the 3 oldest. It's just that Jaden wouldn't take a bottle & I really didn't even try with Kara. It's my own fault. I know that, so I just deal with it for the year. After that, he's great about giving me time. Only 10 more months to go! lol I need my own time too - that is why I occassionally lose it completely & feel like my world is crashing around me. :)

Ashley said...

I can just picture you in that stall!! Go you.

Pamela D. said...

You are quite a woman. I always read your posts with such admiration. I love my kids, but I know I fall short more often than not. I think that is why God gave me Travis. Seriously, he is a better mom than I am! You are amazing and you should never have to "fish" for compliments, lol. You should have them showered upon you! (I know Justin is teasing.)

Val said...

The Muser pointed me your way.

I'm a military wife AND I went through PPD. Like you I had military stuff and life stuff and hormone stuff complicating things the first year after my 2nd was born. I know how hard it is to go through PPD when you are the wife of a servicemember. I know that even when they're home you feel like you have to shoulder a lot of the burden alone because they could be coming or going anytime and you have a bunch of other incidental issues going on. And I know that at a time where you desperately need your husband to put you first, he still can't because he signed on the dotted line to put his duty first.

All this to say--you're not alone in this. I want you to know too that Postpartum Support International now has military coordinators for all branches. Go to and click on 'get help' and we're one of the tabs along the side.

If the 6 week check-up didn't get you the help you needed, make another appointment specifically becuase you're not feeling like yourself. If that doesn't work see if there are nurse case managers at your MTF that will listen and help you get connected to the help you need. Your comments had a lot of meds/no meds commentary... Whatever you decide there is your own personal decision. Just reach out so you're not alone in walking this.

That all got very advicey and I'm sorry about that, so let me say it again I mostly want you to know you aren't alone in this.