Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Enjoy it!

Some days are thinky kind of days. Good music tends to do that to me. I have things on my mind this morning.

I'm thankful, grateful for my life and, I'd say, even overwhelmed by the awesomeness of it.

My oldest son knows how to pull at my heartstrings like no one else. He always has. When he was little, he was a reflection of me. If I was going through something, you could tell by watching Migc. Now, my life is easy and I don't "go through" much, so I don't have opportunity to see that. However, consequently maybe, he is good too. Life for Migc is mostly good. He's a good kid. He's fun, thoughtful and you can talk to him. Plus, the boy gives the best hugs and secretly loves to cuddle. He did lose his mohawk this week though. He was not forthright with his teacher when she was trying to find something out and for that, he lost his mohawk. Good riddance. :)

Kristen is smart! I know everyone says that about their kid and I won't belabor that point because I can see it in people's face that they don't really believe it. It's not important to me that others believe it. I see her report card and talk to her teachers and communicate with her daily. It's crazy how smart that girl is! She's also sensitive and pays attention to things. If I've been crying, she picks up on it immediately - mostly because she looks me straight in eyes. She bought a pair of converse shoes this weekend. Pink converse. She loves them! I cannot believe that she is wearing converse shoes!

And Jaden! I've never had a child get sick as much as he does. It's crazy! He doesn't go to daycare either. Today it's croup. He is so sweet though! He cuddles and kisses and dances and says bye bye. He loves his brother and sister and his daddy. He lights up my days...and by my nights, I'm ready for him to go away for a little while. :)

I've lost my original thoughts now. I didn't start this to give you a run down of every great thing in my life.

Yesterday, I found out that my ex-husband's sister-in-law died in a car accident in Nigeria. It gave me such a strange feeling and makes me think a lot. Out of everyone in his family, 5 brothers and 3 sisters, I knew her the best. She was about my age, had 2 children just younger than Migc and Kristen. She was married to man similar to my ex. Her life was difficult, but she faked it a lot. A lot. I'm not sure how good she was at faking it though. Surely, if all the way across the ocean, I knew that her husband liked women and enjoyed shady business behind her back, those near her knew too, but I remind myself that cultures are different and those practices are common place within many men there. It's not ok to the people there, but they mostly just pretend as if it isn't happening. I don't understand it all, so I can't venture too far here, but I will say that her life was difficult at times, for sure. She was pretty, thoughtful and loved God. She was a good woman and from what I knew, a good mom. Then one day, while traveling down the road, she died. Now, she lay in a casket and her family comes to see her dead body. Life is gone that quickly. She went from a colorful, lively woman on this earth to be with Jesus. That seems profoundly wrong. Her children need her. Her sister needs her. She left too soon. It makes me think of my own life and those around me. It makes me very thinky. Yet, it makes me feel strange being so thinky about a woman that I only know because of my ex-husband. It's strange.

My life is amazing, yet, I realize that it could all shatter around me in a moment. Life is so fragile, yet we barrel through, thinking it is all about me. It's not. I'm not the certain of the universe, my extended family, nor my own home. I want to miss those around me when they go home. I want to grieve for them because I knew them and cherished them, not because I missed out. I want the same when I go home. Today, I'm going to squeeze a little harder, talk a little nicer and put the computer away and laugh a little more. Life is fleeting. I want to enjoy mine today!

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