Gun Play

It’s interesting how when Migc was Jaden’s age, he wasn’t allowed to be anywhere near play guns. He didn’t have them as toys and wasn’t allowed to pretend them. My motto was “Guns hurt nice people.” In Chicago, in our lifestyle at the time, that was all he needed to know. Guns were spoken of in context of kids on the street getting shot.

Now, we’re in Kansas, where hunting is everywhere. Plus, I’m married to a military man that almost specializes in firing weapons. In fact, rarely in our house are they called guns, they are normally called weapons and in our house, the context that guns are used in is usually war.

Migc has a handful of nerf, cap and bb guns now but certainly never had them at Jaden’s age. Jaden walks around the house almost daily with one of the Migc’s gun saying, “p-que p-que”. The real kicker though is that I think it’s kinda cute.

Few Random Thoughts

I’ve discovered that rental duplex or not, I really like this place. No, I don’t want to live here forever, but for now, it’s simple. It’s easy, and I like it. We are all always on the same floor and share more family time. The kids play outside more and watch less tv. It’s easy to get the entire house picked up and kept clean daily. I’m enjoying the simple life. And,it’s very sunny. I’m going to enjoy that after Kara is born!

I’m feeling good today. It’s kind of been a rough week for me. I’ve felt very incredibly pregnant and moving seems to be a chore, but today, I don’t know, it’s not so bad. I got great sleep last night. The weather is a tad bit cooler today, which I think is helping. Yesterday felt miserably hot, but not hot enough to turn on the AC, so after house shopping, I was swollen and tired. Today is good day though.

36 weeks and counting! I’ve been putting together her clothes and blankets and getting stuff prepared. OK OK I’m digging the pink stuff. :) As long as there is no lace and it’s not frilly, I’m awwww-ing all over the place.

I think this will be our last. I’m really feeling like it’s time to focus on the ones we have. As much as I’ve enjoyed this pregnancy, I’m thinking I don’t really want to do this again. It really separates my time from those already here. I don’t feel on top of my mommy game, especially right now. I think I’m done dividing that time. I’m pretty sure 4 is enough for us.

Things Left to Do

This is my checklist of things I need to do within the next week. I am feeling the crunch – officially.

*Call Military One Source to find out where I’m delivering this child
*Put together a hospital bag
*Put together a list of things needed for everyone else for the couple of days away from the house
*Fill out the hospital admissions stuff and make a folder with it and several copies of the Birth Plan
*Put together an emergency delivery bag in case we don’t make it to Wichita
*Get the new purchases laundered
*Buy the bassinet & this very cute stuffed animal that I saw today
*Work on knitting baby legs
*Return Kate the doula's call

I bought some blankets and little stuff today and now I really feel like I’m having a girl. :) It’s funny because everything I bought is very pink and very girlie, but somehow it doesn’t feel too much for me. I don’t know. It’s cute!!! I’m excited to meet her! I’ll be checking off my list this week, so this entry will be edited!

Week 35

We had Kara’s sonogram last week to make sure the placenta cooperated and moved up and sure thing, we’re SAFE! And sure thing, she is definitely a she. Funny, none of the pictures were very good, except the one of girl parts and there is no denying!

I know I said in my last post that I felt like she was going to be late, but yeah, I’m not sure about that. Today actually felt like the day may be approaching within the next month. God knows! I just feel a little more pressure than I have been lately and I had a few intense braxton hicks this evening.

She has gotten really active lately too and is quite the mover and shaker. She also has a head full of hair according to the sono, and her size is right on track.

I’m pretty much ready for her. I have lots of newborn clothes – plenty really and I have girly diapers and socks. I need to pick up a few girlie blankets. I can’t stomach the ones at Wal-Mart. They are just too…pink for me. Pink is ok, if you mix in some brown or blue or anything other than purple. I’m hoping I find some better ones at Target. I also need to pick up a new bassinet, swing and diaper bag. I suppose I’ll do that next week or the week after. Craigslist here sucks! I looked at some diaper bags on etsy today that were pretty cool. I’m thinking I will probably need a real diaper bag just because I’m sure we’ll be making more trips with Kara than we did with Jaden. I also have some baby legs I’d like to finish knitting too, but I just don’t know if I’ll get those done.

There is lots of talk about what/who she will look like and what we are hoping for. Of course, she’ll be amazing no matter what, but Justin and I are hoping for either brown hair/blue eyes or blonde hair/brown eyes. I’m sure when she’s born, she’ll have dark hair though regardless of how it ends up. Jaden did and it turned blonde. It’s crazy that the more children I have, the more I realize the possibilities when it comes to physical features and personalities.

It’s all going to be exciting, that’s for sure!

The Condensed Version

I’ve started a few mother load updates, but cannot seem to get them finished. Too much happened too quickly, so here is an email that I sent to friend that felt left out of loop. Sadly, pretty much everyone was left out the loop because there was just no time. So, here is a condensed version of our last few weeks.

We are living a little over an hour north of Wichita. Justin got a full-time military job doing pre-mob training - right before troops deploy they go to their mob station for a short amount of time & right before that, they go through pre-mob training, which includes everything from learning the culture of where they are going, how to spot IEDs & what to do if your gunner truck rolls over, etc. Justin is 1 of, I think, about 10 guys that do the training in this region. He *loves* it! His hours are crazy. When they have troops on the ground, he is gone all day and pretty much night too. When they are between troops, he's home a lot. Right now, they are between troops so I get to see him quite a bit & they get lots of days off. The next group coming is supposed to be pretty big and he won't even be doing his training here, and it's supposed to last like 45 days...right through Kara's birth. So, I'm over 2 hours from our family and about to have my 4th child without my husband. Sounds fun, huh? He says he'll make it for the birth, but anything else is a crap shoot.

We've been here about a week & a half. Schools were on Spring Break last week, so the kids just started. They love it. It is a nice town. It has about 50k people and is a mini-Wichita. We really like it so far!

We found out on a Thursday that he got the job & had to report to on Monday morning. We rented our house in Wichita & found a duplex just a few blocks from where Justin works and were moved completely within 2 weeks. Justin had troops on the ground and didn't get back for any part of the move whatsoever. It was very, very stressful & I'm glad to have it behind me! The duplex is nice and nice sized. We signed a 6-month lease so that we would have time to learn the area & find a house that we really like. The pay for this job is great, so we have a little more to work with this time and we want to take our time. God has just opened one door after another & we couldn't deny it! It's been crazy but not a really hard transition for any of us. The moving & the 1st week were very hard for me, but now it's all fitting together & I'm doing a lot better!

And yes, I'm feeling very pregnant. This pregnancy has been soooooo easy & even during the moving stuff, I would have to remind myself not to do things because I was so pregnant. Other than the emotions, it didn't really seem to effect me much. Just think about being 32 and 33 weeks pregnant with 3 other kids, no help from your husband or family or friends & packing & coordinating the entire move of your household to another city within 2 weeks, including utilities, schools, etc. and preparing to have tenants in your home! Thankfully, we did have lots of amazing help for the actual move! Now though, I think God was saving the big pregnancy part for after the move. I'm 35 weeks and I feel huge & she feels big finally & I'm becoming more & more aware that I have a very short amount of time to get everything put together for her arrival! I've reached the huge part now, but she hasn't dropped at all! She is still very high and I feel like she's going to be late, but we'll see. :)

There we go. Now, maybe I can move on to more fun stuff that I think about posting here and there and don’t do because this part was left undone.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

At some point, I'll update with all the current happenings. (!) That will have to come at a point in time when I have more than 3 minutes and am thinking clearly though. For right now, it's random facebook updates and that's all I've got!

I did start an update several days ago, but it has not been completed nor do I remember what in the heck I wrote about!

New job. New home. New life.

...coming soon!

Lessons in Fatherhood

Sometimes, I’m caught off guard by Justin’s openness to Migc and Kristen. I know, there are men that do it all the time, and women too, but he is exceptional to me. The depth of his love for them brings me to a stand-still sometimes.

Last night, in the ER, I had one of those moments. I handed over our medical insurance card and the woman asked if Justin was dad to Migc. I said, “yes, well stepdad.” She said, “He’s dad to me.” He is. Their father carries insurance on them, but he has always played games with it and I’ve never used it. Since it was court-ordered, I’ve never used it. In fact, I don’t even have an insurance card because he doesn’t provide one, though I know he carries insurance because the order was sent to his employer. Justin not only carries them on his insurance, he pays 100% of all medical bills not paid by insurance. Again, their dad is supposed to pay 50%, but he doesn’t. He refuses to. Since we’ve lived here, he’s never paid one. Justin doesn’t do it because he has to. He doesn’t do it because it’s court ordered or because I ask him to or for any reason other than because they are his children and that’s what you do for your children. He has never thought twice about whether difference in blood should determine what he does or doesn’t do.

I’ve talked also about him being put on 2nd shift at work. Immediately, when that happened he began seeking a new job. On 2nd shift, he still gets to see Jaden and I during the day. He will get to see Kara too. With the shift change, he gets one hour in the morning with Migc and Kristen and maybe weekends, if he’s not required to work. He cannot handle that. He can’t even handle the thought of it. He has to see them. It kills him that he can’t. He’s willing to change jobs and relocate his family for the major purpose of being able to spend the time he wants to spend with Migc and Kristen. Their father works average jobs in Chicago. He could work the exact same jobs here in Wichita. He has no family, no ties to Chicago whatsoever, yet is unwilling to relocate just himself in order to see them. Blood doesn’t mean a thing!

Then two nights ago, we were talking about this delivery and if the placenta is still too low-lying to have a vaginal birth. I told Justin that we would have an unassisted homebirth, where I would hemorrhage and die before I would have a c-section. I was kidding and he knew it, but still, he looked at me and said, “No you won’t because remember, if you die, I don’t just lose you. I lose Migc and Kristen too, and I can’t do that.” As strange as it may seem, that thought plagues Justin and I. It’s true. They would go to the dad that doesn’t care for them and love them the way Justin does, and he would never allow Justin to be a part of their life. That thought is an ever-present fear of Justin’s.

He had a good example in his own dad, but that doesn’t keep me from being stopped in my tracks sometimes and amazed that a man can be so capable of loving children not his own. There is no depth he wouldn’t go for them and no mountain he wouldn’t climb. That’s what being a dad is!