Update on Jaden

At 11:30 last night, I went to check on him and he still had a fever of 102.8. I called the doctor and amazingly was connected right to her. She talked with me for 15 minutes troubleshooting and going over everything. She assured me that as the mother God had chosen for this child, if I felt at any time that I needed to take him to the hospital, to take him. If not, she’d see me at 7am this morning.

I went and got him up out of bed, gave him another round of Tylenol and put in him the bath. I imagine that’s just what he was wishing to do at midnight. He has done a great job of weaning this week, in spite of his sickness, but last night, I encouraged him to nurse…and often. I put him back to bed, expecting to get up at 4am to check again. (The doctor suggested I get a little sleep.) :)

Jaden woke up at 3am and though still slightly elevated, his temperature was better. I felt better and slept soundly until 6:15am when I got all the kids up and out the door.

His staph infection is better if not all the way gone. It was minor anyway. With it being on his penis, it just seemed catastrophic. However, in the big scheme of things, it was very small. The scalded skin is better too, though it will peel since it already began that.

The biggest concern for me was not just these symptoms but the fact that the fever became present and spiked so high every evening. Two days ago, his ears were fine. This morning, his inner ears are red. He has an ear infection, though minor right now. The doctor ordered a UA, a blood test and a strep test. Those were fun!

We will get the UA and blood test back later today. The strep, which she thinks is the culprit, will take a few days. In the meantime, she’s having us switch antibiotics. What he is currently on, has done the staph well but has not warded off the other sicknesses, though maybe just drawn them out more.

All of these things, in and of themselves, are not a big deal, but combining them gets scary. That's where we've been. Seeing the red ears was actually a relief, as we have a reason for a fever. The fever has been the big unknown scary thing.

So, we will see. Please keep him in your prayers.

Our doctor told me this morning that I’m a good mom and she wishes she could clone me. She has her eye on me. I can tell. She is really a phenomenal woman with a passionate heart for children and for Christ. She has 10 children – 3 are biological, the rest are adopted from foreign countries. She recently got back from vacation, in which she took the remaining 6 that are still at home. I can hear it in her voice and see it in the way she handles me, she’d love to make me one of her. We’ve never talked about adoption, parenting, Christ or anything else personal, so she doesn’t know that what she does is the cry of my heart, but some how, she sees it.

We spent more time than we should have talking today. She’s a very busy and sought after doctor. She’s a great mom too. I’ve heard her stories and she raises them right. She even said to me once that she has told them, when they complain about something, that she could send them back to where she brought them from if they think she’s too strict. I thought that was funny. She’s just that way. That’s real parenting to me. She teaches life lessons, not great American entitlement. We talked abortion, orphanages, Africa, war, and Obama today. I think I’d like to be closer to her. I held back tears several times while we were talking. She has a heart similar to mine.

ETA: UA and strep test came back normal. Not sure if that's good, but ok.

It’s His Thing

Migc is definitely our baseball player.

We thought football was it. He blew us away in football with his skill, his speed and how much he loved it. We thought, “yep, this is going to pay for college.”

We’ve never asked Migc what sport he wanted to play. We’ve never even brought up the subject with him. No one has ever said that they wanted to see him playing a certain sport. He came home one day and asked to play football, so we put him in football. He came home one day and asked to be in baseball, so we put him in baseball.

At 8, this is his first year. Until now, he didn’t know how to properly hit a ball with a bat or even how to properly throw a ball (he was raised by a mom that didn’t love baseball…and in the city). We put him in an 8 and under machine pitch league. Migc and Justin came home from the first practice and Justin was dumbfounded at the kid’s natural ability.

He has an awesome coach and team that is pretty much all brand new. His coach is fun, but doesn’t let them get away with stuff. If they mess up because they aren’t paying attention, he’ll pull them, but he is also loud and a big joker and a whole lotta fun!

Migc scored in his first game. Tonight was his 5th game. It’s cool to sit along the sidelines and ignore the people watching, just to hear them talking amongst themselves about him. I listen closely to what people are saying. I don’t hear them talk about any other kid on the team, though there are other kids on the team that are good, but every single game, I hear parents and/or older siblings talking about how good Migc is. Tonight, one of the older siblings saw him coming up to bat and said, “Oh, this guy is good!” Sure thing, Migc hit it to the fence and brought 2 other kids home. He ultimately scored the winning point against *the* best team in the league. The team hadn’t been beat at all yet and they’ve been practicing since February.

He bats really well. He runs so fast it’s crazy!! He’s been begging us to get him a cup so he could be catcher. We were convinced that he wouldn’t get to be catcher because Coach always has him on 3rd or sometimes 1st. He did though. He let him try it and to our complete amazement, the kid is really good at being catcher! He can catch and he can throw. It’s his game!

I wish I could share a picture with you, but I spend the majority of the games pushing Jaden around and running after him. I learned from the first game that I cannot do that, watch the game and have a camera in my hand, so I don’t have a single picture.

Football was good. Baseball is paying for college!

Checking, Checking

I think I just discovered something magnificent. I shall see if this works. I’m using Windows Live Writer, which may very well be the answer to my complete distaste of blogger.

Let’s see how it holds up with a picture.

Oh my goodness! I think I might just love blogger now! Oh there is definitely more to come from me now! I can feel it!

Happy Birthday Baby!

He was born with a lot of jet black hair and a big purple head.


By one month, he was a chunk. He still had that black hair and has *always* had that smile that makes a mama's heart melt, but those fat rolls only came by lots and lots of mama milk.


At 2 months, he was strong and had very, very healthy lungs. By this time, colic was an all day every day thing!


3 months, he grew and grew.


At 4 months, this long-face baby was still very, very difficult.


I believe his love of balls began at 5 months. Nothing like football season! His hair is definitely not jet black any more.


Due to a dreaded nursing strike, we began solids at 6 months.


Then, at 7 months, we learned that Jaden was Mr. Fussypants because he was allergic to our dog. We took the heartbreaking step of giving Josie away, and began the journey of getting Jaden well.


At 8 months, we were at our wits end trying to get this child to sleep. We had gone, by this time, 4 months without adequate sleep and we were worn out. Thanks to an amazing doctor, we mastered sleep...or came as close as we will probably ever be.

He was still rolly polly and Mr. Fussypants at 9 months. This child has been a difficult one! He sure is cute though!!!

There are balls everywhere, Jaden!!! Wow! Is he really 10 months already?

He still has that smile that melts a mama's heart at 11 months!

And...he loves to play outside, even with the worms!

But, today, my blond-haired, blue-eyed, busy, smiley, smart, crazy boy turned one! We celebrated with a hair cut, a lollipop and a pony ride!

I love you, baby!

Oh yeah, I've got it!

I just took Kristen to school a few minutes late and when I was leaving, a boy from Migc's class was walking in. He doesn't know me, but he is always super friendly and respectful to everyone. Justin has even commented on his friendliness.

He saw me and said, "Hello!" He looked away, then looked back at me and said, "You cute."

I laughed all of the way home. I think I was hit on by a second grader!

Catch All

Justin took the kids Mother's Day shopping - yes, all 3 of them. I thought I might read. He insisted that I do no work. I thought though that if I picked up a book, I'd get to read now, then who knows when I'd read again. I'm way behind on some knitting projects, so reading isn't even on my list right now. At this point, knitting is work, so I'm not doing that either. But, if you are Mandy, which I am, then laying on the couch with the laptop on your lap, Coldplay playing and writing is a fantastic way to relax. In fact, one my favorites, though I'm not sure how much actual writing I'll be doing here.

There is one thing I'm sure I won't get to because it requires some scanning of photos, which requires booting the computer downstairs up, which I don't really want to get into right now. Maybe though, if I get this caught up, I'll get to the other stuff later.

Deadly Spiders

Last year, a little later in the summer, I went out to the back shed, opened the door and saw a spider. Having spent my entire adult life in Chicago, I don't know much of anything about anything outdoors. Really. It's sad! The spider didn't look quite right to me and I was afraid to go in, so I went and got Justin and said, "hey, will you come look at this spider for me?" I'm so glad that I did because it was a black widow. A HUGE black widow at that!

We ended up calling The Brown Reclusinator. We found him in the Christian phone directory. Then it turned out a few months later that Kristen had his daughter in class and they've become really great friends. Anyway, he came out and sprayed and we've not seen any since. We had seen several of them too!

Then last week, Justin and I were doing yard work. Jaden was helping me pull weeds. I turned over a log and there was a big, huge, fat black widow. They are so scary looking! We called Mr. Reclusinator to ask him if he wanted to come pick up a live one. He'd expressed interest in having a live one before. He said, yes, but wouldn't be able to come by for a few days, could we keep it in a jar until then?

I do have some canning jars but had them all packed up and the only thing with a lid that we could find was a bottle that Jaden never really used. You should have seen Justin trying to get him in there. He was so freaked out! I wanted to take pictures of it but I had to be ready to rush him to the hospital if there was a mishap. It was scary!

Then we decided that we weren't crazy about having this deadly spider sitting around our house - no matter how locked up he was, so we called Mr. Reclusinator back and asked him if we could bring this thing to him. He said he'd catch us "on the next one". Ugh!

So, this scary, nasty looking thing, met it's fate.

Even killing it was freaky!

Jump Around

Justin is one of the neighborhood attractions. The neighborhood kids come over to ask if he can bounce them on the trampoline. From the look of these pictures, you can see why.

And, if you didn't know it already, Migc is a strange kid. He makes things and wears them. This is only a tip of the iceberg. While some of the neighborhood kids are playing, Migc is wearing a paper bag that he has cut up. He has no qualms about it either. He's just hanging out with his bag on his head.

Jaden was loving the action too!

And one more picture for good measure. How do you deny this??? I can't believe my baby boy will be 1 year old in 4 days! It's making me very sad!!!

Complicated Relationships

Some things are complicated. Fear often adds to that complication.

I have a little brother. He's my half-brother, but even mentioning that he is a half-brother is insulting to some people. I can see how, especially now that I have children that are half-siblings. I don't like to hear them saying that. The fact that say he is a half-brother is only a minor part of the complications in our relationship.

We share the same biological dad. The one that is, among other things, a pedophile. Now I say that, but he's never been convicted of that nor am I aware of him ever even being criminally charged for that, but in a way that I will only be mildly elusive, I'll say that he is. His mother is also a very mean woman. I still lived with my bd (biological dad) when my brother was born. I remember it, vaguely. I would have been about 3 1/2 years old.

For the next few years, I continued to endure that home and resented my little brother both because he was a favored child among the parents and because he was *them*. I left those all of that behind when I was about 12. I occasionally went back, seeking something only girls seem to long for in a daddy, but always left again quickly. Throughout it all, I despised my little brother and those feelings never wavered.

I remember in high school, I was a senior and he was a freshman. He transferred to Ark City and I hated it. He told people that he was my brother and I denied it. I worked in the office during one of my hours at school and he was in there one day because he was in trouble and was waiting on the principal. I looked him straight in the eye and in front of everyone in the room said, "I've heard that you've told people that I'm your sister. I don't know who you are, but you need to stop telling people that." He smiled that weird, strange smile that he always had and I never heard another word about it.

A couple of years later, he walked into the grocery store that I was working at and I didn't recognize him. He had grown tall and thin. Still, I didn't know him and wasn't about to let on that I might. He was a part of everything I'd tried so hard to leave behind. I heard stories over the years of the trouble he'd gotten into and did feel sorry for him because of the parents he had, but I didn't feel sorry enough to intervene.

I got saved, moved away, got married, had children...and was haunted by that day in the school office. I thought about him often and wanted to help him. I'd heard of criminal trouble he'd gotten into along the way and really felt more sorry for him than anything. Finally, I tracked him down in prison and began writing him letters.

I didn't know what to expect. Really, I expected him to tell me to get lost. The letter that I wrote was a heartful "I'm sorry for the way I've treated you all of our lives." I went into details and really laid it all out. I told him that I'd understand if he didn't forgive me and that I'd understand if he didn't write me back. What I got was months of communication. I became so emotionally invested in his journey and trying to sort out what was truth and what wasn't. I longed to see him and to connect with him in person the way we had through letters. I remember when he got out and the first phone call he made to me. I was so excited to talk to him and was left speechless when he sounded exactly like my bd.

A few years later, I made it back here and was determined to finally meet him face-to-face. Here is it almost 2 years later and we've still not met, in fact, we've not talked in many, many, many months - not in text, online or on the phone. Tonight, when I checked my rarely used myspace account, I saw his profile and checked up on him. It's been several months since he's signed in. I have no idea what is going on in his life. I've distanced myself completely.

See, I've never known for certain if I can trust him or not. He was, after all, raised by that man. To my knowledge, he has always been respectful of my privacy. He doesn't share our communications with anyone else, and I appreciate that. We've had connections that have led me to believe that I can trust him, but then fear sets in and I get scared. He longs for those connections and so do I, but I'm terrified of seeing him for the first time. I'm scared of making this deeply personal, intricately involved, emotional relationship a reality. He has 5 sisters and 1 brother. If you ask him, he'll tell you that is what he has. To my knowledge, only 2 of us even acknowledge his existence, and he holds no grudges for that.

My fear of him all of these years and my fear of him now has nothing to do with him. It's not him and it's not his fault, and I know these things, but why can't I shake it and build a relationship with him? I'm really no better right now than I was that day in high school.