tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046680987851912458.post7872777522704094570..comments2014-05-02T20:39:07.000-05:00Comments on All That I Am: Are You a Competitor?Mandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08977050498467032070noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046680987851912458.post-91955416768789650292009-02-25T22:38:00.000-06:002009-02-25T22:38:00.000-06:00Sorry, it takes some time to read your last couple...Sorry, it takes some time to read your last couple of blogs...so I have been here a couple times today amidst interruption.<BR/><BR/>I just read your new scenerio....it has also got me to thinking like everyone else....here are my $ .02<BR/><BR/>I think, because you DO know who you are, you just have to be confident that your value is noticed. I have never really thought of my closest friends and their relationships with their other closest friends as a competition or a detriment to my value to them. I guess I have always considered that what I bring to the table and the memories we make are unique enough to hold that bond secure.<BR/><BR/>But mixing personalities can be annoying. Some people are just "one-up-ers". It helps them feel inclusive or validated. But, the person being competed for (Jane) has to see that, too.<BR/><BR/>It would not be the competer but the competition that would trouble me. I would have to decide if fostering a relationship with someone who does not value me like I know I deserve, would be worth my time. But, I may be wired different....I don't seek many relationships. <BR/><BR/>I guess, if the relationship was worth fostering, I would set up times ALONE with that person so we could just enjoy what we have in common without interruption. Memories and special bonds built in even those short times alone can carry you through the times when you feel you are pushed to compete.<BR/><BR/>It is hard to not want to change others annoying, rude or ignorant behavior, but...unfortunately, the only person I can can control is myself...(and my husband on occassion. lol) <BR/><BR/>Wishing you some happy friendships!Kimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15642336013256186797noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046680987851912458.post-38506957899576349232009-02-25T11:40:00.000-06:002009-02-25T11:40:00.000-06:00Hmm, this has got me thinking! I wonder if we are...Hmm, this has got me thinking! <BR/><BR/>I wonder if we are more in agreement than it would seem. Competition purely for the sake of feeling superior, IMO, is silly, but competition because you truly love the thing is not quite the same. But I don't equate drive to compete with the need to feel superior, I suppose? Like I think Michael Phelps swims because he loves swimming, not because he's like "y'all are fat lazy bums, suckahs!!Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09223044868130142733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046680987851912458.post-39621956735954172212009-02-23T14:19:00.000-06:002009-02-23T14:19:00.000-06:00I hear ya on this post. We live in a competitive ...I hear ya on this post. We live in a competitive world. It has it's positives and negatives, but when you get down to the nitty gritty--one has to realize if their actions are hurting others. Some actions are intentional and some not. Bottom line is we have to be careful with every area of our lives--because it affects others. We don't live to ourselves and we don't die to ourselves. Thanks for the post--it definitely made me think!God's Blessings Photographyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12661399191544762246noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046680987851912458.post-53279890493285059852009-02-22T12:59:00.000-06:002009-02-22T12:59:00.000-06:00What I hear more that you ladies are talking about...What I hear more that you ladies are talking about seems to me to be more drive or personal goals than competition. That I can understand, and no, I suppose that I don't think that all competition is wrong. <BR/><BR/>Now, I have personal goals of keeping my husband happy and how to do that, but I don't have to push someone else down to do that. Know what I mean? I have drive to be better at things, but not to outdue someone else, purely to outdue them.<BR/><BR/>For example. Let's say this purely for saying. I'm not saying that I am very "green" or that Christine doesn't have the desire to be "green" and Jane doesn't even exist, ok. It's for an example. Let's say:<BR/>Mandy is an earthy person, very much into being green.<BR/>Jane is an earthy person, very much into being green.<BR/>Mandy and Jane would naturally be friends. <BR/>Christine really isn't into being green but she wants, for whatever reason, no one really knows, to be friends with Jane, so she gets really into being green. And, she purposefully keeps Mandy and Jane apart. At times when Mandy and Jane would naturally be together, like maybe going to a community meeting, Christy goes to Jane and asks to go to the community meeting (that's not even in her community) and is all over her throughout the entire meeting. Any time that Mandy tries to talk to Jane, Christy is all over it, trying to outdue Mandy. <BR/><BR/>Or how about this:<BR/>Mandy and Christy are sisters. Jane marries our brother. Christy never lets Mandy be around Jane alone and when the 3 of them are together, Christy is all over Jane the entire time. This is done to the extent that Mandy is never able to cultivate a relationship with Jane. Christy is always trying to outdue Mandy when Jane is around. Oh then add that when Jane isn't around, Christy acts perfectly normal around Mandy, but when Jane is around, Christy is almost an enemy to Mandy. <BR/><BR/>Those are some examples of what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about playing Mario Cart and trying to win. :) But then again, I might not like that either. :)Mandyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08977050498467032070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046680987851912458.post-66919364071798255712009-02-20T19:44:00.000-06:002009-02-20T19:44:00.000-06:00I think if the world didn't have competition, we w...I think if the world didn't have competition, we would have a lot more suffering. We wouldn't have the best doctors, the best engineers, the best inventors...the best anything. Competition is just what fuels some people to go beyond what is comfortable, go beyond what takes no effort.<BR/><BR/>I think I am somewhat of a competitive person, particularly in the areas that matter to me. I don't have to be the prettiest in the room, but I'd darn well better be the one my husband is looking at. If another hot young thing starts making eyes at him, I could take the attitude of "if he is going to leave, he'll leave"...but even if I take that attitude, I'll be in red heels and a miniskirt. I'm just not willing to take a backseat in life in the things that matter to me. <BR/><BR/>Honestly I can't imagine that's hurtful to others. It's not so much competitiveness as territorialness. <BR/><BR/>And on some level, I'm not sure that checking out of the game entirely is morally better than existing in it. It seems like it is its own way of being the "best." It depends on how it's done--in humility is one thing, but in a morally aloof matter is entirely another thing. Does that make sense? I *am not* writing this in a judgy tone, either--just sort of thinking out loud.Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09223044868130142733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046680987851912458.post-11400969783820964102009-02-20T16:29:00.000-06:002009-02-20T16:29:00.000-06:00Competition is something BORN in people...it truly...Competition is something BORN in people...it truly a God-given part of who they are. The mis use is either insecurity or immaturity....not really KNOWING why it was given to them.<BR/><BR/>People don't bother me, though. Unless they are manipulative. I hate that...I might just have to call that out.<BR/><BR/>My weakness would be in the NON-competing arena. I, like N, don't care a lot of the time. I am a person that doesn't require a lot of relationships. I am somewhat...okay...a LOT self-centered and really require MUCH alone time....that is my weakness.Kimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15642336013256186797noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8046680987851912458.post-9528897564003231722009-02-20T12:42:00.000-06:002009-02-20T12:42:00.000-06:00I'm not a competitor in all the things you describ...I'm not a competitor in all the things you described. I just don't care to do it. To me it's a fight not worth my time lol! <BR/><BR/>I do compete when it comes to something that I should. As in games and such. But I'm not a "fight till the end" type. I'll try, but if I fail, oh well. <BR/><BR/>I do like to compete a bit when it comes to working out. I never say anything to the other person, but I'll try to do just a bit more, push myself a bit farther because I need the motivation and lack it on my own. I'd never say things like comparing the results and such.<BR/><BR/>I do hate the parent competition. To have the cutest, smartest, best kid.... that stuff drives me nuts.~* N *~https://www.blogger.com/profile/02020040719151978708noreply@blogger.com